The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
