My balls are so social today.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
