Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
