I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
And then he peed in my hair
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