yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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