well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So gin and wine won't be happening again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
