she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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