Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
