I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
