I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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