Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
