i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
whose ass print is on the piano?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
