Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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