just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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