You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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