he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
