Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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