sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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