Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
