I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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