What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
