So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
