These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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