Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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