YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
not ubering you a puppy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
