he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
