I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
