Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
