I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
