We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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