Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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