Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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