Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just cropdusted the office
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
