So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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