do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His nipple licking is glorious
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