worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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