yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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