we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize