brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
