it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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