She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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