Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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