similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
