if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize