Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
