guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
