after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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