Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
