She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
