You can't special order awesome
i love accidental penises.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
