The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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