ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
