When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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