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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously

  (503): View more from Oregon

  you are my hero

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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• (516): View more from New York

  will barter weed for kareoke machine...

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free

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• (310): View more from California

  I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments

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