You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
