I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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