Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
