Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize