No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
