Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize