If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
