I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Fuck appropriateness.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize