She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
