Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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