Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
