Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Randomize
