I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
