Where is the hickey?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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